dreaminghope: (Giggle of Death)
I pass my ex-place of employment on the way home from my current job.

They are painting the building. The siding is the oily yellow of no-name brand canned chicken broth. The garage and external doors are the orange of a pumpkin that has just started to rot.

This completely impartial observation is brought to you by the "Take This Job & Shove It" Society with support from the Icon Whore School of Posting.
dreaminghope: (Happy Bug)
I stayed home from drumming tonight. I just wanted some time alone. Life is really good right now, but I am a person that needs a lot of time alone to just process.

I tidied a little, got my nails down to a reasonable length, and watched some TV. And, of course, cruised LJ.

I feel more centered now. Now I can look forward to my busy, social weekend, with Illuminaires and related activities. Now, if Russ can just shave my head tomorrow night!

This post is mostly to make sure all my wonderful friends realize that me missing drumming isn't a sign of eminent breakdown. I didn't really appreciate how much I worried a lot of them during the "Omega days" until recently, as every time I show any signs of long days, stress or tiredness, they all start asking worried questions like: "Are you OK?", "Are you taking breaks?", "Are you sure you are OK to work the overtime?"

You know who you all are: Thank you for your concern! I couldn't have made it through or gotten out without your help!
dreaminghope: (Pensive Zoey)
Yesterday was a very difficult day. It was so hard to say good-bye to everyone. I made it to the end without crying, then the tears ran in the car.

I know it is for the best. I know I need to be selfish in this and take care of myself. I know this new job will be better for me.

My last day - long )

So that's it. Omega Nutrition is now a part of my past. I can still hardly believe it. I know this is for the best. By this time next week, I'll probably feel great about my decision.

I just realised that I forgot to submit my last time sheet! I'll have to get a copy to Shannon to take into work next week!

This is it

May. 28th, 2004 06:50 am
dreaminghope: (Labyrinth)
This is it... my last day at Omega will begin in about an hour.

It has been a tough week, saying good-bye to people I like, wrapping up projects and handing tasks over to other people.

Ely's last day with me was Wednesday. That was the first good-bye. We've worked together in customer service since I started with Omega almost three years ago.

Justin and Maria, our US shipping managers, came up from Bellingham yesterday and took me to lunch. Justin's pretty new, but Maria and I have worked together for a couple of years, and have worked together really closely as managers.

Dianne and Norma also said their good-byes yesterday, as neither of them work Fridays. I've been seeing both of them, sharing the front office with them, four days a week for almost three years. Weird to think that I won't see them regularly after today.

I also talked to Celeste yesterday, as she's taking today off. She came the closest to making me cry.

I don't know if I'll get through today without crying. Even though I will be stopping in to pick up last pay stubs, coffee, and to see Shannon, it won't be the same. I won't belong there anymore. And even though I am really glad to be leaving, it is hard to do.

I thought I had more to say...
dreaminghope: (Firelight)
I am hoping that my new job will mean a lot fewer whiny work-related posts. But, in the meantime, here's a summary of my second to last week at Omega:

The whole mess )
This is an idiotic way to run a company!
dreaminghope: (Sexy)
To get ready to hand in my resignation letter tomorrow to the Big Boss, I have been blasting Bif Naked songs and dancing around the living room. Bif does great angry break-up songs, which sort of work for my employment situation:

Like Cinderella I am transformed
Suddenly I'm taller - you're smaller
I am re-born!


I love myself today!
Not like yesterday.
I'm cool! I'm calm!
I'm gonna' be okay!
I love myself today!
Not like yesterday.
Take another look at me, now.
'Cause it's your last look!
Your last look forever!


Get offa me! Away from me!
Get me outa here!
Don't follow me!
Don't bother me!
I'm no leader.


Hmm... I'm getting nervous again. Must turn the music up!
dreaminghope: (Happy Bug)
I got a new job today!

I had an interview yesterday with Dan, the owner of Green Earth Organics, a local organic food home delivery company. I thought at the time that he would have hired me on the spot if it weren't for the two weeks notice I'd have to give (he wanted someone to start Monday).

Today, he called me and said that the woman leaving the position had agreed to stay for a couple of extra weeks so I could give my two weeks of notice and still get training!

Not only did he want me badly enough to ask her to move her schedule around to accommodate mine, but she likes him enough to do so! I think this says great things about how my new job will go.

The nitty-gritty: I will be a customer service/reception/administration person. It is basically me and Dan in the cubby of an office, and the packers and delivery people just outside the door in the warehouse.

I'm taking a little pay cut, but it'll be so worth it not to hate my job anymore.

So, the only people at Omega who know right now are Shannon, of course, and Celeste. I talked to her immediately after talking to Dan, since I thought I owed her the most.

It was hard to tell her, especially given the firing of DumAss on Monday, but she was just fabulous about it. She said she is happy for me, but sad for her. She's sorry it didn't work out, and she still thinks I'm great, but she understands why I don't want to stay. She has offered to be a reference for me if I ever need one in the future.

So, on Monday I give my notice to Robert and then I start telling the other employees. It is going to be hardest to tell my team, as they are all great people that I really like working with (though I don't always enjoy having to supervise them). I just hope I don't cry.

The idea of giving notice and telling everyone is terrifying. The amount of things I want to have done before leaving is anxiety-provoking. But I am so excited about this new job!

Everyone who knows says I look happier and less stressed already. It is like a weight's been lifted off of my shoulders.
dreaminghope: (Zoey)
It is not a good sign when a 25 year old non-smoker has her blood pressure taken and the doctor looks at the screen and says: "That can't be right."

So the doctor takes my blood pressure and pulse rate again and says: "Well, that's a little better."

Blood pressure numbers don't mean anything to me, but a normal pulse rate for an adult is 72 beats per minute. The "better" results showed me at 91 beats per minute!

Checking my pulse rate through out the day shows that I peak just before work in the morning and I am at my best in the evening after dinner.

I'm taking this all as a sign from my body that I need to leave my job.

Life's too short for this...
dreaminghope: (Zoey)
I repeat:
I need to take of me. I cannot live to please other people.
I need to take of me. I cannot live to please other people.
I need to take of me. I cannot live to please other people.
I need to take of me. I cannot live to please other people...

Why don't I feel less guilty yet?

Yesterday, I was all set to tell Celeste about my upcoming job interview and my plan to leave Omega in the next couple of weeks.

Ah, the best laid plans... Because then she gave me flowers. And she told me how well I'm doing about 6 times ("I don't know if I tell you enough that you are doing a great job..."). And she told me that she'll help me cut down my workload and help me deligate. And she told me that she would have quit by now if it weren't for me being here...

FUCK!

Why couldn't she be a demanding bitch so I would find it easier to walk out on this place?

Why does she have to be sweet and supportive?

I feel horrible about planning to leave her. I'm afraid that she won't take her well-deserved summer vacations if I leave. I'm afraid she'll quit sooner then she otherwise would have, leaving my team without any support or protection.

Quiting this job is supposed to make me feel better. I really do want and need to be out of here. So why do I feel so bad about just working towards my departure?

So I keep trying my little mantra:
I need to take of me. I cannot live to please other people.
I need to take of me. I cannot live to please other people...

And I repeat: FUCK!
dreaminghope: (Labyrinth)
I just came back from mailing four cover letters/resumes. One to the closed captioning firm and three unsolicited ones to various companies. My favourite cover letter is the one I started: "Ah, another unsolicited resume."

I am so excited about the opportunity to start a new job in a new industry. I am so scared that no one will hire me.

I fear that I am sending my tender little resumes out into a world that will mock them.

I've never left a job this way before. Last time, there was a lot of warning and no hard feelings. This time, there will be annoyed, aggravated, stressed, pissed off and hurt people in the wake of my choice.

I must write 150 times: I need to take of me. I cannot live to please other people.
dreaminghope: (Happy Bug)
I swear that I am feeling the Big Boss' plane lift off to carry him to another country. And as I feel him being carried away, with him goes the risk that I will suffer a complete break with reality and a complete mental and emotional meltdown.

You may think I am exaggerating. I wish I was.
dreaminghope: (Firelight)
Earlier today, I ran into Stephane, my previous supervisor at Omega. I got this position when he left.

He looks happy. He has a new sales job, and it seems to suit him.

I caught him up a little bit on life at Omega. He was surprised that Trish, our wonderful marketing manager, is still with the company. He had already heard that Bill, our general manager, had left.

One of my friends with me commented that the two of us sound like war veterans when we talk about the Omega experience.

I'm off to work on my resume now.

Week's end

Mar. 26th, 2004 05:42 pm
dreaminghope: (Giggle)
Friday is finally here!

Russ and I have big plans to play video games and eat pizza tonight.

I got my team flex-time at work!

I feel really good about this, as they wanted it and I feel like it is the first real thing I've accomplished to make things better for the customer service team. Everything else I've accomplished as really been for the company as a whole or for the benefit of the customers.

But, other then that, the work week's just been long. I am looking forward to a quiet weekend with lots of sleeping, resting and napping as my top goals.
dreaminghope: (Pensive Zoey)
I kind of don't like the fact that I don't care... on the other hand, I also don't care that I don't care. I feel numb and tired.

I need a new job.

I cannot tolerate the chaos, the disorganization, the complete lack of procedure/training/planning/systems that this company holds as its center.

I want a job where I receive a written job description, training, a clear idea of who is responsible for what, and a boss who doesn't try to micro-manage everything.

It is the story of my week: it hasn't even been that bad here this week, but I cannot do it much longer. I am mentally, spiritually and physically exhausted. Even good days aren't good, because I spend the whole day tense, waiting for the next crisis to crash down upon me.

I am supposed to be looking at resumes to get another customer service person. Now, a person in that position is usually OK in this company, as they get some training and they have a clear set of responsibilities. But I still feel guilty bringing someone in to this mess.
dreaminghope: (Happy Bug)
I work at a health food manufacturer.

After work I eat white flour spread with hydrogenated oils (store bought garlic bread) and I drink caffeine, sugar and alcohol (run and coke).

This is what I do to relax after the stressful work day.

I find this amusing.
dreaminghope: (Zoey)
Bad things:

- DumAss fucked up again, in a little way, and has gotten himself one step closer to being fired. I do not want to do his work if he gets himself kicked to the curb before a back-up is trained, but I am the only other person close to being qualified and able.

- I started getting flushed around noon and I am still having dizzy spells.

- There was a huge pile of customer feedback forms, which means I am going to spend the rest of my week explaining to the Big Boss that we, in customer service, are not all fuck-ups, shipping is not made up just of lazy bastards, a single product return does not mean that we need to panic about the whole lot, and everything really is fine and I have everything under control.

- Poor Shannon, my receptionist and friend, went home early today due to continued illness.

Good things:

- Beautiful pink blossoms on the trees, the scent of spring flowers, petal confetti on the grass and the sidewalk.

- My internet connection is working again! Mark and Mike from Shaw were very helpful.

- The Big Boss was out of the office again today, to my surprise/delight/amazement.

- Russ keeps cuddling and hugging me.

- The cats love the new cat tree, which we got yesterday on special for $39.96, when it is regular $249.99.

- Amaretto lattes for dessert.

- My ops meeting minutes were very nearly perfect.

- I got the laundry all put away.

- The bank informed me that I deposited more cash into my account then what I told the ATM, so I have $40 more then I thought!

- Shannon and I drove up to Uprisings bakery for lunch, which was really nice.

- My cat costume is pretty much done for the next Sin City, though I may still choose to make a tail for it at some point.

I think that's a good summary of today and a few other recent events.
dreaminghope: (Zoey)
I realize now that I let myself be cranky yesterday. Even though I got my report done before the computers crashed at work, even though there was nothing I could do about the crash but wait it out, even though the Big Boss was out of the office and it was, therefore, calm and relaxed, I was irritable all day.

Not today. I am determined to just relax and enjoy the rest of this boss-free week.
dreaminghope: (Firelight)
I'm still at work, but I'm dicking around because it's my birthday! Besides, I've already gotten lots done today.

The company gave me tequila for my birthday!

Celeste and I were joking around this morning about how much we'll have to drink tonight because of some crisis or another and she said something about martinis and I responded that it's margaritas for me. Within a couple of hours, a bottle of tequila, wrapped in shiny paper, was on my desk. Celeste told Dave what to get, and he picked it up.

I love tequila! It looks like a nice brand -- I'll have to give it a little try tonight. (Or a big try...)

And the Big Boss isn't in the office, so everyone's a little more relaxed and happy. He's even on a plane, so he can't even call to harass us from a distance.

Yesterday, Celeste and I talked a lot. I think she's at her wits end around here too. If she goes, I'm out of here. She's the only thing that keeps me from completely losing it. She has been a great advocate for getting resources for my department, she defends us to the Big Boss, she agrees with me as to what needs fixing and gives me advice on how to go about it.

But today's not a day to dwell on such unpleasant realities. I am happily in birthday la-la land, counting down the time until I get to go out into the sun.

Facing it

Mar. 3rd, 2004 06:38 am
dreaminghope: (Zoey)
Here's the work crap I didn't write about last night. I still don't want to think about it, but 1) I need to make some decisions, and maybe writing will help, and 2) if something happens this week, I'll want this, the background, already written.

I have a team member, we will call him DumAss, who has been causing me problems for quite some time. He just isn't good at his job.

Read more... )

I hate this.
dreaminghope: (Firelight)
I went to Silver Spiral's divination night tonight. I gave a lot of readings, which was nice because it got me out of my own head a bit. I don't know if anything was helpful, but it felt good to try.

Cindy gave me a reading. It was a little vague, as she was trying a new deck for the first time on someone besides herself, but a few things stood out for me:

- A sense of an impending ambush: I worry that I am walking into a nest of vipers tomorrow at work. I don't know what's being going on in my absence, but things are rarely clear, transparent and straight-forward at work.

- A need to check in with people: Two things come from this for me. First, a need to check in with my team members. Second, a need to check in with Russ and Jamey. We've been anticipating having another "check-in" for awhile, so maybe it would be good to make that time soon.

I am not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow morning. I'm not sure if it will be better because I'll be going in rested and refreshed, with some fresh perspective, or whether it will be worse because I have been gone and am not as numb anymore.

This whole week, I've forced myself away from thoughts about work. Today's really the first time I've begun to let myself think about it at all. And I realize that I have come to certain decisions and realizations sub-consciously. There's a bunch of things I need to do this week.

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