My standards for adulthood have morphed somewhat, I think. First though, I don't so much think of it as adulthood per se, but more of "making it". A sense of having reached a certain level of your existence, with a level of responsibility and power asociated with it. I've felt (if not acted) like an adult for a long time. But I've never felt like I've made it.
I used to have The Plan (TM, Pat. Pend.). There was a list of things that I wanted to be able to feel "there". A house, a car, a good (ie: well paying, 9-5) job, a wife, kids. That's all. I used to think that that's al I'd need. I was naive that way, but while it isn't all I'd need, it would provide a certain foudation, an infrastructure if you will.
Now.... now I'm not so sure. I still want the family and the house and everything else. But some of its has changed, and some has lessened.
I used to want a mansion, a really nice, big house. A statement. Now I feel ok with a nice condo or townhouse. A place like my coworker has on coal harbor. Ironically, it'll prolly cost as much if not more for that now, than my ideas of nice houses 8 years ago.
The car is still there, but less fast and flashy, more sensible....and flashy. Gotta be pimp, yo. :p
I still want a wife and kids. Its a big part of what I want for my future. But I've learned to let go of it a bit. Learned to want it less, and learned to not need it so much. Somewhere between letting go of a dream, and realizing that there are more than one dream to hold onto.
And the job... It used to be high-level exec with 6 figures. Now, well it would be nice to have the 6 figures, but given that my horizons have dropped somewhat on the other "requirements", so too has my job/income dreams. I used to argue with Derrick that 60K a year is nowhere near enough. Now, it could be.
As for feeling grown up on a day to day basis, sometimes. On some days I can see everything I have, all the power over my destiny, and all the responsibility and freedoms I have, and I feel like an adult. Other days, I feel like a kid wearing grown-up clothes and doing grown-up things. Some days I try to become that kid again, and some days I just feel old.
I think adulthood is what you want it to be. Look around you. I can point to people of all ages at all stages of life, love, work, play, sickness, health, responsibility and freedom. I knew a girl in elementary school who was doing university classes. My Dad's best friend is newly divorced, rowdy, and smokes pot. Adulthood is a label. You are who you are, when you are. If you want to chase after a dream, then go for it, but remember to be happy in your reality too.
...you did it to me again, didn't you? And no comments about taking my own advice dammit! I'm older than you, I can do what I want. So nyah :p
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2005-11-21 09:36 pm (UTC)I used to have The Plan (TM, Pat. Pend.). There was a list of things that I wanted to be able to feel "there". A house, a car, a good (ie: well paying, 9-5) job, a wife, kids. That's all. I used to think that that's al I'd need. I was naive that way, but while it isn't all I'd need, it would provide a certain foudation, an infrastructure if you will.
Now.... now I'm not so sure. I still want the family and the house and everything else. But some of its has changed, and some has lessened.
I used to want a mansion, a really nice, big house. A statement. Now I feel ok with a nice condo or townhouse. A place like my coworker has on coal harbor. Ironically, it'll prolly cost as much if not more for that now, than my ideas of nice houses 8 years ago.
The car is still there, but less fast and flashy, more sensible....and flashy. Gotta be pimp, yo. :p
I still want a wife and kids. Its a big part of what I want for my future. But I've learned to let go of it a bit. Learned to want it less, and learned to not need it so much. Somewhere between letting go of a dream, and realizing that there are more than one dream to hold onto.
And the job... It used to be high-level exec with 6 figures. Now, well it would be nice to have the 6 figures, but given that my horizons have dropped somewhat on the other "requirements", so too has my job/income dreams. I used to argue with Derrick that 60K a year is nowhere near enough. Now, it could be.
As for feeling grown up on a day to day basis, sometimes. On some days I can see everything I have, all the power over my destiny, and all the responsibility and freedoms I have, and I feel like an adult. Other days, I feel like a kid wearing grown-up clothes and doing grown-up things. Some days I try to become that kid again, and some days I just feel old.
I think adulthood is what you want it to be. Look around you. I can point to people of all ages at all stages of life, love, work, play, sickness, health, responsibility and freedom. I knew a girl in elementary school who was doing university classes. My Dad's best friend is newly divorced, rowdy, and smokes pot. Adulthood is a label. You are who you are, when you are. If you want to chase after a dream, then go for it, but remember to be happy in your reality too.
...you did it to me again, didn't you? And no comments about taking my own advice dammit! I'm older than you, I can do what I want. So nyah :p