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Sunday night blues
Feb. 1st, 2004 08:05 pmI have this problem with Sunday nights. No matter how great and perfect my weekend was, on Sunday nights I always feel like the whole thing was wasted. If I spend the whole thing partying, I think that I didn't relax enough. If I relax the whole time, I think I should have been more social or productive. If I clean, I think I should have had more fun. If I do a little bit of all the above, I think I didn't do enough of any of it.
I think this stems from a dread of the week. I feel like I have to cram everything good into the weekend, as I am so useless after work so many days of the week now.
I seem to remember a couple of months where this didn't happen so much. I was the receptionist at Omega at the time. Just a receptionist. I answered phones. I filed. I forwarded emails. I worked on rituals and other writing during slow periods. I came home feeling good. I was needed, but in a quiet, invisible sort of way. And I was a damn good receptionist.
On Friday, Dennis, in marketing, was giving me hiring tips as I face the task of hiring someone else for my department. He warned me that hiring often makes you question why you are here. I feel it. I wonder when I will break and finally look for another job. Omega is hard to work for.
It is nice to know it isn't just me that feels that way though. Lots of people at Omega with more work and life experience then I have shared their frustrations with me recently. I think they may have a sense of how I'm feeling.
On the other hand, I look at the huge pile of resumes I had come in for my little customer service ad, and I think that maybe it is better to stay where I am, where the hours are steady and my job is as secure as anyone's in the company, instead of trying to fight the job market and having to start all over.
I don't think I should make decisions on Sunday nights. I need to think about something else.
I think this stems from a dread of the week. I feel like I have to cram everything good into the weekend, as I am so useless after work so many days of the week now.
I seem to remember a couple of months where this didn't happen so much. I was the receptionist at Omega at the time. Just a receptionist. I answered phones. I filed. I forwarded emails. I worked on rituals and other writing during slow periods. I came home feeling good. I was needed, but in a quiet, invisible sort of way. And I was a damn good receptionist.
On Friday, Dennis, in marketing, was giving me hiring tips as I face the task of hiring someone else for my department. He warned me that hiring often makes you question why you are here. I feel it. I wonder when I will break and finally look for another job. Omega is hard to work for.
It is nice to know it isn't just me that feels that way though. Lots of people at Omega with more work and life experience then I have shared their frustrations with me recently. I think they may have a sense of how I'm feeling.
On the other hand, I look at the huge pile of resumes I had come in for my little customer service ad, and I think that maybe it is better to stay where I am, where the hours are steady and my job is as secure as anyone's in the company, instead of trying to fight the job market and having to start all over.
I don't think I should make decisions on Sunday nights. I need to think about something else.
