Why isn't it working?!?

I repeat:
I need to take of me. I cannot live to please other people.
I need to take of me. I cannot live to please other people.
I need to take of me. I cannot live to please other people.
I need to take of me. I cannot live to please other people...

Why don't I feel less guilty yet?

Yesterday, I was all set to tell Celeste about my upcoming job interview and my plan to leave Omega in the next couple of weeks.

Ah, the best laid plans... Because then she gave me flowers. And she told me how well I'm doing about 6 times ("I don't know if I tell you enough that you are doing a great job..."). And she told me that she'll help me cut down my workload and help me deligate. And she told me that she would have quit by now if it weren't for me being here...

FUCK!

Why couldn't she be a demanding bitch so I would find it easier to walk out on this place?

Why does she have to be sweet and supportive?

I feel horrible about planning to leave her. I'm afraid that she won't take her well-deserved summer vacations if I leave. I'm afraid she'll quit sooner then she otherwise would have, leaving my team without any support or protection.

Quiting this job is supposed to make me feel better. I really do want and need to be out of here. So why do I feel so bad about just working towards my departure?

So I keep trying my little mantra:
I need to take of me. I cannot live to please other people.
I need to take of me. I cannot live to please other people...

And I repeat: FUCK!