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Good manners
Nov. 9th, 2005 12:04 pmGood manners can be summarised in just a few phrases: Be considerate of others and of your surroundings, and wait your turn.
In the past, good manners were much more elaborate. There were a lot more rules and they were much more specific. There were different rules depending on your social status, your gender, and the circumstances you found yourself in. The rules weren't intuitive; they had to be taught.
There are some manners that still have to be taught specifically: no elbows on the table, for example. But, generally, a person can enter any situation and as long as they are considerate and patient, they will be considered relatively well-mannered. Most people acknowledge, subconsciously if nothing else, that manners beyond that are culturally-defined social conventions, and not rules written in stone.
There's always a tendency to think that in some romantic past, when the light was always soft and flattering and the children were seen and not heard, that people had better manners. We say that "people are so rude nowadays." I don't know if that's actually true.
I think that some people have always crossed the boundaries of good manners, either willingly or through ignorance of the social conventions. The difference is that in the past, bad manners would be using the wrong fork at dinner or introducing an unacceptable conversation topic around ladies. Now, bad manners is running red lights, swearing loudly in public, verbally abusing store clerks, and generally being dangerous or obviously unpleasant. It isn't behaviour that can be overlooked; it is loud, obnoxious, unavoidable rudeness.
What do you guys think: Do people mistake simple standards for no standards? Do they think their behaviour is acceptable, or are they consciously rude? Will some people always be bad-mannered, so if our standards are low, they will simply sink even lower? Or am I missing the point here?
In the past, good manners were much more elaborate. There were a lot more rules and they were much more specific. There were different rules depending on your social status, your gender, and the circumstances you found yourself in. The rules weren't intuitive; they had to be taught.
There are some manners that still have to be taught specifically: no elbows on the table, for example. But, generally, a person can enter any situation and as long as they are considerate and patient, they will be considered relatively well-mannered. Most people acknowledge, subconsciously if nothing else, that manners beyond that are culturally-defined social conventions, and not rules written in stone.
There's always a tendency to think that in some romantic past, when the light was always soft and flattering and the children were seen and not heard, that people had better manners. We say that "people are so rude nowadays." I don't know if that's actually true.
I think that some people have always crossed the boundaries of good manners, either willingly or through ignorance of the social conventions. The difference is that in the past, bad manners would be using the wrong fork at dinner or introducing an unacceptable conversation topic around ladies. Now, bad manners is running red lights, swearing loudly in public, verbally abusing store clerks, and generally being dangerous or obviously unpleasant. It isn't behaviour that can be overlooked; it is loud, obnoxious, unavoidable rudeness.
What do you guys think: Do people mistake simple standards for no standards? Do they think their behaviour is acceptable, or are they consciously rude? Will some people always be bad-mannered, so if our standards are low, they will simply sink even lower? Or am I missing the point here?
