Aug. 31st, 2006

dreaminghope: (Working Zoey)
In regards to the 3-Day Novel Contest I am entering this weekend.

There's a new document on my computer's desktop. It seems to have a pulse. I can hear it; I can feel its echo in my chest. I don't know if I'm going to able to sleep tonight, much less tomorrow night, because it is so loud.

The document whispers to me: Why are you doing this?

It is a good question. I don't know that my answers are good enough:

Because it is there to do.

Because I want to be able to say that I did it.

Because there's a teeny, tiny, itsy-bitsy chance that mine will be the best.

Perhaps I should create more noble reasons. I should have a story that must be told, a perspective that will change the world, or a muse that demands obedience.

To be a Writer*, I would be more tortured and driven, more romantic and artistic.

Really, I just write, but I think a little part of me wants to be a Writer, so I enter challenges and contests that let me play at it for awhile.

Are you ready for this?

I don't know how the story ends. I'm nervous, because I like to have a clear plan for everything, but I am trying to trust that I will figure out what to say by the time I am saying it.

Why are you doing this?

Because I've sent in the non-refundable $50 registration fee.

Because I told my Mom I was going to do it.

Because it is a good excuse to ignore the housework, eat junk food, and have Russ make me coffee.

Are you ready for this?

No, but that's OK. I don't have to be ready for everything. I can't be ready for everything. I'm a planner; this is the closest I've gotten to flying without a net.

Are you ready for this?

The closer it gets to the start of 12:01 AM Saturday, the less sure I am that I know what I'm doing or how I'm going to do it.

Why are you doing this?

The closer it gets to the start time, the less sure I am of why. But I am still sure that I want to do it.

One novel in three days.

I'm sure I will do it.

*With a deliberate Winnie-the-Pooh-like capital W.

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