Open letters

Dear countries of the world,

Do us a favour, and keep the noise down a little, OK? We've got a hangover.

Thanks,
Canada

*****

Hey everybody, where're you going? What do you mean, it's over? Stay a couple of days; we've got the Paralympics! And good weather; have you seen our cherry blossoms? Nice, huh?

Sorry about the line-ups at the airport today. We're a little busy. But, hey, you're all good at doing line-ups by now, right? This'll be a breeze after eight hours to see the Olympic medals.

Wanna buy a hoodie before you go? Or maybe some of these lovely red mittens?

Come back soon!
Vancouver

*****

Dear military,

The helicopter's leaving, right?

Sincerely,
me