dreaminghope | You know this is where it is going

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You know this is where it is going

Doing for writing what America's Next Top Model did for modeling, what So You Think You Can Dance? did for dance, and what The Bachelor did for romance: America's Next Great Novelist!

Thirteen sexy, struggling young writers live together in an isolated cabin for three months, filmed 24 hours a day as they struggle with writers' block, distractions, purple prose, constructive criticism, and deadlines. Under the influence of sleep deprivation and stress, and excessive amounts of coffee, they laugh, cry, fight and have nervous break-downs. They make new friends and break each other's hearts.

Every week, the eager contestants experience new activities, face fears, and do things they never dreamed of. Watch them go bungee jumping, eat meal worms, or do amateur night at a comedy club! They use these experiences to inspire their weekly writing assignments.

At the end of each week, guest actors – such as Thomas Haden Church (Ned and Stacey), Wayne Knight (Seinfeld), and Heather Graham (Boogie Nights) – will offer dramatic readings of the writers' assignments for the judging panel of book reviewers.

The judges will subject their two least favourite writers of the week to an additional test: the two will have one hour to choose and edit a piece of their ongoing novel in preparation for the panel's scrutiny. The one with the weakest novel will be sent home, so the stakes are high.

In addition to watching your favourite authors on the weekly episodes, you can also visit our website to read their profiles and see their pictures, as well as view exclusive additional video, too hot and controversial for TV! Then, talk back in the forums, where you can talk back about the best and the worst writers of the week.

Follow these aspiring writers from the start of their dream to the moment when one of them will be presented with a major publishing contract and will become America's Next Great Novelist!

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ROFL. I especially like the eating mealworms part. I never understood why people would watch or join Fear Factor because of that exact set of "stunts". UGH.

I know! I gag just thinking about it; I can't imagine watching it, much less doing it.

I don't quite get it either. Maybe it gives the viewer a certain sense of superiority. "Hey, at least I'm not dumb enough to see how many cockroaches I can stuff in my mouth in a minute."

Or it could just be another sign of the decline of our civilization. Take your pick.

I have a feeling it could become a live action version of 'The Shining'

Good news: Not boring.

Bad news: Can't be aired on network TV.

I suppose they do it as pay-per-view or pay-per-download and make a fortune, though.

Seriously? Is this for real? What's next, America's Next Top Masturbator? See the trials and tribulations as several wankers are locked in their rooms and suffer periodic internet outages, lube shortages, lack of hygene and poor nutrition. Every week popular porn stars will perform for the contestants, whose skill, technique and stamina will be judged.

C'mon people. What ever happened to fake reality shows? People pretending to be real people in pretend real situations.

Not like it really matters to me anyway. I barely watch TV as it is. I'm in trainng for the Canadian version of Top Masterbator.... :p

Seriously? Is this for real?

No, thank goodness.

Hmmm... I'd actually be surprised if no one's done an "adult" reality show (fake or not). We should ask ED!

porn star idol and pornstar academy, both available at my store. Amateurss compete against each other and get voted on by famous porn stars like Ron Jeremy...

I know it had to have been done! Thanks for providing this valuable information.

Isn't that how Mary Shelly wrote "Frankenstein," except without TV cameras and meal worms?

It is my (limited) experience with novel writers that they all do the laugh, cry, fight, and drink too much coffee (or alcohol) parts. It is usually a more solitary activity, when that luxury is available.

I don't know much about Mary Shelly. Is there anything particularly interesting about her writing style or the stories surrounding her?

Unoriginal as I am, I steal thid from a SOURCE ON THE NET:

" She [Mary Shelly] conceived of Frankenstein during one of the most famous house parties in literary history when staying at Lake Geneva in Switzerland with Byron and Shelley. Interestingly enough, she was only nineteen at the time. She wrote the novel while being overwhelmed by a series of calamities in her life. The worst of these were the suicides of her half-sister, Fanny Imlay, and Shelly's wife, Harriet."

So you see, it was like reality TV without the TV, but with a very good writer.

If it is OK, I will add you and see what you write next.

Quite right - it sounds like a the perfect set-up for a reality show. Or for a movie. Thanks for that; I think I'll have to re-read Frankenstein now that I know more about how it was written.

Perfectly fine to add me! I'd like to add you back. I'm just curious: how did you stumble across my little piece of LJ?

ok, I'm insulted...why wasn't I invited to this...

I mean...I'm trying to do the writing thing...

of course...I'm not sexy...

and that ends that...

Well, writing ability is very much secondary. The actual criteria is willingness to humilate oneself on TV; being overly dramatic, whiny and/or confrontational; and, preferably, the willingness to sleep with anything that wiggles.

If you say you would qualify, I won't judge you.

no...I'm jes joking around...
I think that they are jes trying to find anything to base a reality show off of...

if I'm going to write it will be at my own pace without distractions and pressure...

:-D

silly T.V

Now this just made me laugh. I'm really loving this journal because it's so fresh and original.

Okay, let's start the audition now. We cant just pick everyone. We need people who can fit our stock sterotypes:

The sex-starved romance novelist who has torrid affairs with other contestants to inspire her.

The sci-fi writer who dresses up as a Klingon and expects everyone to call him Korg of the Raktan clan or he will disenbowel everyone.

The tortured poet who falls into tears whenever something bad happens and composes odes to those who have been voted off.

The drunken genius who can only write when he's had a fifth of whiskey and regularly gets into fights with his fellow houseguests. He's a genius writer though and his confrontational attitude boosts ratings.

The guy who's constantly getting writers block and yelling at everyone to shut up. Strangely, he feels at his creative best when eating meal worms. Some people have strange muses.

The token gay or lesbian who claims to write erotica but is really just there to be gay or lesbian.

The above token gay or lesbian could also be substituted by a token minority who dreams of making Oprah's book list.

There's the mystery writer who tries to deduce who will be voted off next. Sadly she spends too much time playing detective that she spends no time writing her novel and is swiftly voted off.

The dark, goth horror writer who stays up all night playing Bauhaus and writing by candlelight. He tries to convince the others that he is a vampire but is, in reality, terrified of the sight of blood.

The innocent girl from Iowa who loves Laura Ingalls Wilder and writes about horses. She does not do so well when confronted with mealworms.

And of course, the formulaic best seller writer who has read every Tom Clancy and David Grisham novel and has a pretty good shot since he doesn't have to think too much. Not much of a personality, but may have a good shot.

So.....have I missed any sterotypes?

And who do all think should win? Place your votes now. (-;

That's a good list. The only one I can think of that's missing is the "writer": Dresses how they think writers should dress, loves to hear the sound of their own voice, constantly talks about their great novel-in-progress (especially as a way to pick up members of the opposite sex), plays tortured artist, but has never commited more then a few sentences to paper.

"Writer" will be gone as soon as it is discovered that he can't actually write.

Formulaic Best Seller may get voted out early as being too commercial.

Sci-Fi will be gone as soon as he becomes too annoying to be comic relief.

Writer's Block will have a nervous break-down, and will leave the contest before being voted off.

My prediction: Last four standing will be Token Gay or Minority Writer (no matter how bad the writing), Tortured Poet, Drunken Genius, and Innocent Country Girl.

Innocent Country Girl will have become less innocent over the course of the contest and her writing will now have the "depth" that the judges told her she was missing in the early weeks. Yet, she'll still be an audience favourite for her sweet attitude, so she'll win the title. She'll cry with surprise and gratitude, then never be heard from again until she shows up on a reality show for C-level celebrities.

You know I think you have it pegged perfectly.

On a related subject, I remember reading a humorous but true article about the reality show writers getting mad because they weren't being paid more than the other TV writers.

So, how exactly does one write reality? I thought it just happened. Sounds like a pretty cushy job to me despite the relative low pay.

That sounds fabulously cushy!

I have a new life goal: to be a reality TV "writer".

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You know this is where it is going

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