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Contemplations on friendship
Feb. 22nd, 2004 10:26 amA lot of friends are going through various levels of rough times right now. Some of it is on LJ, some off, some a little of each.
I feel a little helpless. I have finally gotten the time off I've been aching for, and now that I am not obsessing about that need of mine, I can more clearly see the pleas of those close to me for rest, for answers, for solutions... and I don't know how to provide any of that.
It isn't that any of them expect me to provide solutions, it is only that I want so badly to be able to.
Classic beliefs about men-women relations say that women want to share emotions and receive back sympathy, where men want to share problems and receive back possible solutions.
What a load of crap!
In my experience, all people, both men and women, want to share problems and how they feel about them. And they want back both sympathy and understanding and solutions.
I certainly want to offer both. My problem is that I can't always offer solutions, or even suggestions. I can listen and be understanding until they run out of words and tears if that's what my friend needs, but I don't know how to offer real help.
I feel very lucky; I want all those I care about to able to share in my good fortune.
I feel a little helpless. I have finally gotten the time off I've been aching for, and now that I am not obsessing about that need of mine, I can more clearly see the pleas of those close to me for rest, for answers, for solutions... and I don't know how to provide any of that.
It isn't that any of them expect me to provide solutions, it is only that I want so badly to be able to.
Classic beliefs about men-women relations say that women want to share emotions and receive back sympathy, where men want to share problems and receive back possible solutions.
What a load of crap!
In my experience, all people, both men and women, want to share problems and how they feel about them. And they want back both sympathy and understanding and solutions.
I certainly want to offer both. My problem is that I can't always offer solutions, or even suggestions. I can listen and be understanding until they run out of words and tears if that's what my friend needs, but I don't know how to offer real help.
I feel very lucky; I want all those I care about to able to share in my good fortune.
