dreaminghope | Meditations on a dead watch

My watch reads 2:26. It has read 2:26 for about 5 days now. The battery is mostly dead. The power left in it makes the second hand twitch back and forth so slightly you can almost think you imagined the movement.

I wear a watch everyday, all day, even on the weekends. I have done so since junior high school. I feel strange without it on my wrist. So even though it's dead, I wear it.

Throughout the day, I glance at my dead watch repeatedly. Sometimes I stare at it incomprehensively for several seconds before I remember that it isn't giving me any useful information.

2:26 is a funny time to wear on your wrist all day.

At 2:26 in the afternoon on a weekday, I am usually in a really good place. The rhythm of the day is well established. Any crisis from the previous evening's deliveries has been resolved. It is too early to have any crisis for that night's deliveries, as they haven’t started yet. I'm just doing my thing.

At 2:26 in the afternoon on a weekend, life is usually pretty good. It is early enough in the day that no pressure from the impending end of the day has set in. I am laid back, relaxed.

At 2:26 in the morning, life may be really great, as in a great party, but it is more often a very hard time. If I am up at 2:26 in the morning, and I am not partying, I am probably worrying, dwelling, panicking, crying…

And every time I find myself staring at my dead watch, I think about these things. I find myself asking: right now, am I having a 2:26 in the afternoon, or a 2:26 in the morning?