I had a similar childhood :\

I want to take some form of self defense so that I dont' feel so helpless.

Okay, I grew up at the shooting range. I am a good shot with a .22. I can reload bullets. None of that did me any good when I was being beaten up or assaulted. Otherwise I'm pretty femmy - long skirts, blouses, long hair, long nails. I don't wear heels because I'm a klutz and I don't wear makeup because none of my SOs like me in makeup...