dreaminghope | In my head too much

When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom,
Climbed what I could climb upon
And I don't know how I survived,
I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew.
And you can walk me home, but I was a boy, too.
(Dar Williams, When I Was A Boy)

I never was a tomboy. I've always been a girly-girl: delicate, tidy, scared of getting hurt, not wanting to be dirty.

I didn't climb trees. I didn't get muddy or grass-stained, or catch bugs, or whatever it is boys do. I don't even know what boys do.

I feel like maybe I missed out.

When I was born, they looked at me and said
what a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy.
And when you were born, they looked at you and said,
what a good girl, what a what a smart girl, what a pretty girl.
(Barenaked Ladies, What a Good Boy)

I've never been strong.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, as this kind of weakness is still OK in the "weaker sex", but would mean humiliation for a boy.

So we're sitting at a bar in Guadalajara
In walks a guy with a faraway look in his eyes
He says, "I got a powerful horse outside
Climb on the back, I'll take you for a ride
I know a little place
We can get there 'fore the break of day"
I said "In these shoes?
No way Jose"
I said "Honey, let's stay right here."
(Bette Midler, In These Shoes)

Sometimes I feel the feminine bits and pieces (high heels, bras, short skirts) as fun and sexy.

Other times they seem to be too literally the "trappings" of femininity.

Girly-girls don't have the kind of adventures where they jump on the back of a horse and ride off into the wilds.

And he says, "Oh no, no, can't you see
When I was a girl, my mom and I we always talked
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked.
And I could always cry, now even when I'm alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness
But I was a girl too.
And you were just like me, and I was just like you.
(Dar Williams, When I Was A Boy)

I wish I had a past where boys and girls seemed the same.

I think I'm going to start weight training this fall.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I had a similar childhood :\

I want to take some form of self defense so that I dont' feel so helpless.

Okay, I grew up at the shooting range. I am a good shot with a .22. I can reload bullets. None of that did me any good when I was being beaten up or assaulted. Otherwise I'm pretty femmy - long skirts, blouses, long hair, long nails. I don't wear heels because I'm a klutz and I don't wear makeup because none of my SOs like me in makeup...

I don't do some of the girly things because I am too cheap or too lazy. Make-up, for example, can end up costing a lot of money and takes time and effort. I can't be bothered.

But my friends have only recently stopped exclaiming every time they see me in jeans. I wore skirts for so long that it was weird them to see me in pants of any sort.

I was going to write a big long rambly answer here, but I'll do a short one instead:

I was a big tomboy growing up - and still am in many ways. I would very, very much like to be physically fit again, as I haven't been in, oh, 10 years, and I feel much, much better when I am. Yup. So, I am down with the exercise thing (as long as it's not running)... hey, maybe Cindy would join us. Her and I were discussing doing kickboxing or something before we started running... hmmm....

Anyway, yeah, sometimes I feel unattractive and/or ugly because I don't do the girly-girl thing.... then I realize this is silly, and stop. I think us tomboys are sexy in our own way. :)

Agreed!

I agree that tomboys are sexy. Amongst other things, I think competency is sexy.

I don't think I am incompetent, and my skills have value in my life (in my job, for example), but I don't have the kind of skills that will give me independent.

I want to learn how to fix things, grow things, make things.

A lot of those people who are able to do these things are tomboys. That's pretty sexy!

I remember when boys and girls were the same. I had a friend named Adam, and we played 'monkeys' in the trees beside his house all day, or played with toy cars. I think I was 4 or 5. When we went to kindergarten, we didn't really play together, and never really saw each other in grade 1. I don't know if it was school that taught us that boys and girls are different enough that they can't really play together.. I remember knowing that he liked cars and I liked dolls, and that was because we were of different genders, but it wasn't really a big deal until school, I think. After all, I liked cars too! Or perhaps he started to play with the older boys on his street.. I don't really remember.
But I caught bugs, and climbed trees, and got dirty. Still do! Maybe it comes from having only brothers to play with for significant portions of my childhood.

I'm sure having brothers helped. Then there are boy toys around, and activities to do together. I had a sister, of course, so we mostly did girly things together.

She did play with a lot of boys, and I think she maintained male friends through to grade 1 or 2, when we moved. I wonder if she would have drifted away from them, as in your experience, if we had stayed?

I always had female friends, often even more girly then me (I only played Barbie when my friends wanted to). I don't think I really made any close male friends until high school, in fact.

I was a tomboy, but I always knew I was a girl and that if I looked cute the boys would do things for me.

I have always been aware of my girlyness. I have always used it to my advantage too. ~thinks~

But my best friend growing up was a boy. Some days we played house and ponies, other days we played race cars and war games and G.I. joe.

I enjoy knowing that I'm little and cute and petite. And wearing heels and skirt is hot and very feminine. Yep some days I hate being wimpy. I've started doing more upper body exercise, I bought weights a few months ago and I try to do my push ups.

That's pretty much where I'm at: I like being a woman, I like being feminine, it's just that I want to be strong too.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, as this kind of weakness is still OK in the "weaker sex", but would mean humiliation for a boy.

In general, yes. However you just need to find the correct people to be around. If I had any other friends than the ones I do I would not be myself.

Sometimes I feel the feminine bits and pieces (high heels, bras, short skirts) as fun and sexy.

Agreed! :P

Hmmmm... maybe I should learn from your example and try a little drag. I might make a cute boy.

I agree that it's all about the people you choose to surround yourself with. I was thinking of that time before you get to choose your companions; when school and neighbourhood determine who you hang out with. There wouldn't have been (there wasn't) a lot of patience in my childhood neighbourhoods for a boy as weak and uncoordinated as I.

In my head too much

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