Why I'm not a grown-up

[dreaminghope]

Adults work full-time and get their own place; they buy appliances, furniture and art; they have dishes that match; they acquire car and mortgage payments; they have credit cards and cheques; they contribute to RRSP funds and save their money for practical things.

I have done or am doing all these things. I'm excited about getting myself a DustBuster with my Air Miles points. I even like doing dishes and laundry (most of the time). I joke about relationships and the difficulty of living with a man with my mom.

But I'm not a grown-up. I don't drink wine with dinner. I don't get a morning paper, nor do I get up early enough in the morning to read it before work if I did. I don't dress up for work. I can't remember the last time I bought myself brand-new clothes. By my parents' examples, those are the things that real grown-ups do.

I don't want to be my parents (though they are good and wonderful people; we simply don't share all our values), but they have set the standard for my adulthood in the small details of their lives and routines. I'm not sure how to feel like an adult without following their example. I'm sure everyone's standard for feeling like they've finally achieved adulthood is different because the truth for each person is in their upbringing.

It isn't bad, not feeling like a grown-up, but I have all the responsibilities, so it would be nice to have that satisfaction, instead of just feeling like a big kid playing house.

What are your standards for adulthood? Do you feel like a grown-up? If you do, when did it happen?

Comments

[marlo.livejournal.com]

I'm so not a grown up, and I never want to be. I feel like a smart, mature teenager. I play video games and download mp3s instead of doing the dishes and cleaning the litter box, both of which I get around to doing about once a week. I don't know how to drive. I don't drink. I don't watch sports/soap operas/the news. For Christmas I want Buffy DVDs and an mp3 player: these are not grownup requests. I play D&D once a week. I love Harry Potter and Star Wars and cartoons.

[dreamhope.livejournal.com]

Oh, I can relate to a lot of this! I want toys for Christmas (though I also want a DustBuster). I love Harry Potter and I've begun re-reading a lot of the books I loved as a kid. I'm looking forward to getting my basement room set up where I can move some of my childhood toys into it, and I think I'll end up playing with them too.

At the same time, I've always been "mature" and "responsible"; everyone has always thought I'm older then I am. So, it seems weird to me that everyone seems to think I'm an adult, and has for a long time, except for me.