Why I'm not a grown-up

[dreaminghope]

Adults work full-time and get their own place; they buy appliances, furniture and art; they have dishes that match; they acquire car and mortgage payments; they have credit cards and cheques; they contribute to RRSP funds and save their money for practical things.

I have done or am doing all these things. I'm excited about getting myself a DustBuster with my Air Miles points. I even like doing dishes and laundry (most of the time). I joke about relationships and the difficulty of living with a man with my mom.

But I'm not a grown-up. I don't drink wine with dinner. I don't get a morning paper, nor do I get up early enough in the morning to read it before work if I did. I don't dress up for work. I can't remember the last time I bought myself brand-new clothes. By my parents' examples, those are the things that real grown-ups do.

I don't want to be my parents (though they are good and wonderful people; we simply don't share all our values), but they have set the standard for my adulthood in the small details of their lives and routines. I'm not sure how to feel like an adult without following their example. I'm sure everyone's standard for feeling like they've finally achieved adulthood is different because the truth for each person is in their upbringing.

It isn't bad, not feeling like a grown-up, but I have all the responsibilities, so it would be nice to have that satisfaction, instead of just feeling like a big kid playing house.

What are your standards for adulthood? Do you feel like a grown-up? If you do, when did it happen?

Comments

[dreamhope.livejournal.com]

I guess I missed the point of what you were asking.

You know, I think a lot of people did. Personally, from an editor's perspective, I think the problem was this phrase: ...but I have all the responsibilities, so it would be nice to have that satisfaction, instead of just feeling like a big kid playing house.

The post was really just supposed to be me contemplating how my perceptions of adulthood are focused on a few details from my parents' life (i.e., wine and newspapers), where I subconsciously feel like I'm not an adult due to their lack, despite all the responsibilities I have and grown up things I am doing.

[darianhawke.livejournal.com]

I haven't lived with my parents in over 10 years, or shared a country with them in over 8. My perceptions are based on things I took to heart when I was much younger. That's where I get a lot of my images from. But I can also thank/blame TV for forming my expectations of being grown-up. I don't watch much now, but it used to be all I did, and in the 80s and early 90s, there weren't the same "role-models" as ther are now. Families were very cookie-cutter.

And now I struggle with the dichotomy of how things "should be" versus how they are. It causes me much frustration, and its a conflict I hope to solve one of these days.