Waking dreams and sleeping days

[dreaminghope]

I pull a pen out of a box of black pens. The cap's black; the end of the pen's black. I jot down a note; the ink is blue. I just stare at my handwriting on the page, knowing that there's something odd about that, but not being quite sure of what.

I'm sleep-deprived. The technical name for what I've been experiencing is hynagogic hallucinations, which sure sounds important. The experience is surreal, a dream, complete with dream logic, superimposed over the real world.

I'm talking to a customer on my headset while in bed. It doesn't matter that I am naked; the customer is on the phone and can't see me. Poor Russ tries to tell me that I'm dreaming. "Be quiet, Russ; I'm on the phone."

Someone's in my bedroom, watching me. Though they don't have any obvious malicious intent, I'm not going to be able to rest until they leave. I throw tissues at them, to get them to leave. Russ, my long-suffering darling, thinks that one's particularly amusing, once he gets over his annoyance at being woke suddenly by his bedmate sitting bolt upright in bed, chucking tissues at the door.

I have a long, involved discussion with barry_macneil in my sleep. I'm awake enough to know I'm in bed; asleep enough to dream him into my bedroom. Awake enough that sleep-deprived Russ has to listen to my side of the conversation; asleep enough that I don't remember anything about the conversation after.

I'm not fully asleep, so I don't ever feel fully awake after. My black pen with blue ink becomes surreal and develops symbolic importance without any meaning.

My dreaming and waking life slide into each other, and I drift from one state to another, never resting in either.

I want black pens to have black ink, and for no one to be in my bedroom tonight except Russ and I.

I am really, really tired.

Comments

[cinnamonsqueak.livejournal.com]

oh sweetheart... :(

~hugs~

I hope you sleep

[dreamhope.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Your icon makes me want to curl up and sleep right now, but my boss might not think too highly of that.

[cinnamonsqueak.livejournal.com]

shh what does he know...

[storm-in-az.livejournal.com]

wow--this sounds like me. I've never given it that much thought--thanks for that link.

[dreamhope.livejournal.com]

Isn't it weird to find out that something you take for granted has a fancy name?

Do you also get the stupid micro dreams of falling off things and waking up really abruptly? I hate those.

[awehla.livejournal.com]

My one is usually dreaming that I'm ice skating or walking along and I trip/fall and then I jerk awake - it normally happens just as I'm nodding off.

I also wake up saying non sensical things till logic returns - like once I woke up when David was in our blue sleeping bag on the sofa and I said something about the sea and being blue that makes no sense.

Lisa
x

[dreamhope.livejournal.com]

I fall off a lot of curbs and stairs in my dreams. I hate those ones, because they are so unsttling and it is always hard to go back to sleep after.

I always find it weird to wake up halfway through and find myself talking or believing something that can't be real.

[awehla.livejournal.com]

I don't normally have much trouble getting to sleep, my problem is trying to stay awake in the afternoons or past 10 in the evening.

Lisa
x

[storm-in-az.livejournal.com]

oh, all the time!

Ahhhh been ther, done that...

[paganjoy.livejournal.com]

It is 12:25am and the insomnia fairy has been hanging out in my house as well. I have done the hallucination thing too, I am glad to hear Russ is rolling with it;-)
I am making my sleepy tea tomorrow, I will bring you some when I pick up my cat in the hat mug one day;-)
Hang in there, if you don't get some sleep at least you get the good hallucinations when it reaaalllly kicks in.

Re: Ahhhh been ther, done that...

[dreamhope.livejournal.com]

Russ seems to get enough pleasure out of teasing me about whatever I said or did to compensate a little for the disruptions to his sleep.

Hang in there, if you don't get some sleep at least you get the good hallucinations when it reaaalllly kicks in.

Hmmm... so far I've been getting just enough sleep to avoid the really "good" hallucinations. Perhaps I should start getting up when I've got insomnia and see what happens. It'd probably be good story fodder.

I should try tea. I've tried over-the-counter sleep aids a couple of times. They tend to keep me still, so I don't wake Russ, but the dreams get odder.

[fluffyblanket.livejournal.com]

What a fine piece of writing!I wish I could induce such a state of altered consciousness.

[dreamhope.livejournal.com]

Careful what you wish for!

I'm really lucky that my hallucinations tend to be kind of fun or silly. Some people experience really scary stuff. One theory about hauntings and alien abductions is that the person experiencing it is actually dreaming while awake. It seems completely real while you are in it, for better or for worse.

[fluffyblanket.livejournal.com]

To us Hindus,everyday waking consciousness is ultimately an illusion too-
http://fluffyblanket.livejournal.com/13153.html

[tareija.livejournal.com]

Sleep dep sucks. I hope you get better rested soon. How long has this sleep stuff been going on for you?

Hypnagogic hallucinations can be interesting, my sister and I both get them occasionally. She tends to get more scary ones (poor girl), I tend to have more interesting or entertaining ones.

[dreamhope.livejournal.com]

I've been lucky with them so far and haven't had any really scary ones. I don't often get nightmares, so hopefully I don't start any time soon.

I wonder if weird sleep-stuff runs in families. E has a lot of lucid dreams, and I wonder if that's related to this at all. I should ask my parents if they've ever experienced any of this.

How long has this sleep stuff been going on for you?

I think I started getting hypnagogic hallucinations occasionally starting a couple of years ago. Russ and I calculated that I've been experiencing different forms of insomnia and disrupted sleep at least a couple of times a week since about Halloween. The hallucinations have been worse in the past week or so, but at least I've been sleeping.

[tareija.livejournal.com]

I wonder if weird sleep-stuff runs in families.

I think it might. My mom had narcolepsy, and apparently people with narcolepsy often also have hypnagogic hallucinations and/or sleep paralysis (where you're awake, or partially awake, but your body is still paralyzed as it is in deep sleep). My sister and I occasionally get the hallucinations and the sleep paralysis (which is a very weird feeling), but not narcolepsy (so far, thankfully).

Have you been to the doctor re: your insomnia?

[dreamhope.livejournal.com]

Sleep paralysis sounds very scary to me, though Russ might be relieved if I stopped thrashing about so much.

Have you been to the doctor re: your insomnia?

It is on the list of things to talk to a doctor about, but first I want to get a family doctor, as I am not dealing with this through a walk-in clinic. Unfortunately, I have yet to get up the nerve to actually call any of the offices everyone recommended to me, so no progress yet. I'll get there, though.

oh my

[mollymcevil.livejournal.com]

my last one that i unfortunately there were people to witness.. (why i love living alone) was a lecture on how to behave at hamster camp. yeah.. don't ask me.
my nights are full of these.. and it's these more than the not breathing that make me tired all the time.. oh for "normal" sleep.

Re: oh my

[dreamhope.livejournal.com]

Hamster camp - huh. Bet your witness(es) asked you some weird questions in the morning.

Russ' favourite story about me is actually one where I think I was just talking in my sleep (as I don't remember it at all). I was talking about planes and having to catch a flight. When he tried to get me to shut up, I looked right at him and told him to remind me in the morning, then I seemed to go deep into sleep.

[darianhawke.livejournal.com]

Holy Crap!

I don't suppose a big mug o' Nyquil would help?

~hugs

[dreamhope.livejournal.com]

I haven't tried Nyquil, but over-the-counter sleeping drugs have been of limited value to me so far. I don't move around as much (no throwing tissues) and I don't think I talk in my sleep, but I have really weird dreams and I drift in and out a lot. Wine helps more.

[darianhawke.livejournal.com]

"medicating" yourself to sleep is rarely a long-term solution.

Valerian root? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valerian_(plant)

[dreamhope.livejournal.com]

"medicating" yourself to sleep is rarely a long-term solution.

~shrug~ Wine is better for you then most chemical sleep-aids, and one glass is all it takes. It isn't like I'm drinking until I pass out.

[iamfairydreamer.livejournal.com]

Very interesting - I'm one of the ones who experiences extremely frightening hallucinations - for example one of them was about me and a group of people in this high rise building overlooking a city - there was no space left on the earth(no grass, land) and there were buildings on every square inch - this building was built right in the water. (We were on a river)Looking out on the city I saw two nuclear reactors not far away and the only thought going through my head was that we were going to be blown to bits any moment, and then we would just fly off into space into nothing...that's one of the tamer ones...I don't understand the difference between these hallucinations and real dreams, except for the time factor. I need to do some more research. Mostly I wake up terrified...

I hope you will get some rest soon! Hugs for you!!!

[dreamhope.livejournal.com]

That sounds terrible. That's a dream - well, a nightmare - though.

The thing that distinguishes hallucinations from dreams is that during the hallucinations, you are still interacting with the real world. So, someone who is experiencing a scary hallucination would know that they are in their own bed, but thinks that someone is attacking them there. The dream world is superimposed on the real world, and the "dreamer" is interacting with both simultaneously. Thus, I'm telling (real) Russ to be quiet because I'm having a (dream) phone conversation.

Does that make sense?

Not to make light of your nightmares, of course, because those sound worse, and they probably effect you more, then my silly hallucinations.

Sounds like we both need some really peaceful, quality sleep!

[iamfairydreamer.livejournal.com]

Yes it does make sense!! I really haven't looked into this at all, so I don't know very much, however, I've always been told that hallucinations occur in the first 20 mins or so after falling sleep - which is exactly what happens to me - I've had nightmares too that are "legitimate" dreams - I put that in quptes cz the hallucinations are exactly the same as dreams IMO, at least they are for me. I've never had the hallucinations you are describing - believe me I would much prefer silly over frightening!

I will look in to this - it's really interesting. I've always had problems with sleep - I used to sleepwalk when I was little! My mom had to put lock on the doors where I could not reach them cz I went outside once!!

Hope you are able to get some restful sleep! Thanks!!

[dreamhope.livejournal.com]

According to my quicky research, dreams occur in all stages of sleep, including stage 1, sleep onset. So it isn't strange to have nightmares within the first 20 minutes of sleep.

I've never being a sleepwalker. A couple of times I've almost gotten out of bed because of the hallucinations, but the furthest I've ever gotten is sitting up on the edge of the bed. I bet your mother was relieved that a lock would keep you in - I heard a story once of a sleepwalking child who would drag their desk chair to the door so they could reach and open a lock above their head!

[iamfairydreamer.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the info!! All the research I've ever done has said that dream only happened in REM sleep and I've always thought that was wrong - I'm going to do more research! I've also clicked on the link you put in here about the hallucinations - thanks for putting that there!
I've kept a dream journal for years - dreams have always fascinated me!
Thanks again and I hope you are getting some quality rest now!

[barry-macneil.livejournal.com]

From what I've encountered, as Dreamhope said, supposedly you dream all throughout sleep, however, the REM stage is the session of dreams that people remember, not the ones from deep sleep.

I also heard recently (on a radio show) that things like sleep walking come from an incomplete disconnect between the sensory/thinky brain and the motor control part. For example, dogs or cats dreaming of a chase will sometimes twitch in their sleep as their bodies try to act on what they dream they are doing. There was a study done where somehow this block/disconnect was removed from some cats and these cats were observed to fully physically act out their dreams while asleep (like standing up in their cage and hissing/blindly slashing at whatever they were dreaming about).

Dreaming is supposed to be a time where we work out complex issues as well as when we lay down deep neural pathways for things that are important (ie: the cats were practicing self-defense modes).

Question - have you tried reducing your caffine intake to little or none? Might take a while to wean but could be worth trying just to rule out one more variable.

BTW, I'm flattered to be the (a) man of your dreams!

[dreamhope.livejournal.com]

Great information - thanks!

Question - have you tried reducing your caffine intake to little or none?

Though I may sound like a caffeine addict the way I love my lattés, in actual fact I drink very little coffee. None most weekdays: I drink herbal tea or green tea at work, and I stop drinking any green tea by noon. So far, I haven't noticed any difference between days when I have caffeine and days when I haven't.

BTW, I'm flattered to be the (a) man of your dreams!

Hopefully your next visit is more fun; I think we talked about current events or something dull like that.

[tareija.livejournal.com]

Another common hypnogogic thing I do - if I'm really really tired and talking to someone, I'll fall asleep, and dream that I'm still sitting in exactly the same place talking to them, and I'll still be talking out loud. Eventually my dream conversation will diverge enough from the real conversation that what I'm saying starts sounding like utter nonsense. Usually at that point the person I'm "conversing" with will go, "What?!?" and wake me up. Kind of funny, actually.

Scott used to do that too. My favorite nonsense phrase he told me when he had just fallen asleep, but was still talking, was to pat my arm re-assuringly and say in a soothing tone, "Don't worry. We'll get the Godzilla parts out of the shed."

[dreamhope.livejournal.com]

"Don't worry. We'll get the Godzilla parts out of the shed."

Aaah! Funny!

I'm trying to imagine the context of that comment in his dream, and can't come up with anything.

I don't think I've ever had a sleep conversation, but I should ask Russ.