Waking dreams and sleeping days

[dreaminghope]

I pull a pen out of a box of black pens. The cap's black; the end of the pen's black. I jot down a note; the ink is blue. I just stare at my handwriting on the page, knowing that there's something odd about that, but not being quite sure of what.

I'm sleep-deprived. The technical name for what I've been experiencing is hynagogic hallucinations, which sure sounds important. The experience is surreal, a dream, complete with dream logic, superimposed over the real world.

I'm talking to a customer on my headset while in bed. It doesn't matter that I am naked; the customer is on the phone and can't see me. Poor Russ tries to tell me that I'm dreaming. "Be quiet, Russ; I'm on the phone."

Someone's in my bedroom, watching me. Though they don't have any obvious malicious intent, I'm not going to be able to rest until they leave. I throw tissues at them, to get them to leave. Russ, my long-suffering darling, thinks that one's particularly amusing, once he gets over his annoyance at being woke suddenly by his bedmate sitting bolt upright in bed, chucking tissues at the door.

I have a long, involved discussion with barry_macneil in my sleep. I'm awake enough to know I'm in bed; asleep enough to dream him into my bedroom. Awake enough that sleep-deprived Russ has to listen to my side of the conversation; asleep enough that I don't remember anything about the conversation after.

I'm not fully asleep, so I don't ever feel fully awake after. My black pen with blue ink becomes surreal and develops symbolic importance without any meaning.

My dreaming and waking life slide into each other, and I drift from one state to another, never resting in either.

I want black pens to have black ink, and for no one to be in my bedroom tonight except Russ and I.

I am really, really tired.

Comments

Re: Ahhhh been ther, done that...

[dreamhope.livejournal.com]

Russ seems to get enough pleasure out of teasing me about whatever I said or did to compensate a little for the disruptions to his sleep.

Hang in there, if you don't get some sleep at least you get the good hallucinations when it reaaalllly kicks in.

Hmmm... so far I've been getting just enough sleep to avoid the really "good" hallucinations. Perhaps I should start getting up when I've got insomnia and see what happens. It'd probably be good story fodder.

I should try tea. I've tried over-the-counter sleep aids a couple of times. They tend to keep me still, so I don't wake Russ, but the dreams get odder.